Living in Japan has been my dream ever since I could remember.
It all started with falling in love with Japanese culture; manga, anime, owarai, dramas etc. that made me curious to see the country and its culture with my own eyes. Later on it turned into reality in the form of an exchange year in Osaka. That was one of my happiest years, which made me even more desperate to find my way back here.
Three years passed in Finland. And although I was enjoying my life in Helsinki with occasional visits to Japan, I always felt like I wasn’t fully living out my dreams, like I was missing something. Finally I took the step to find work in Japan and here I am.
But the problem I have been constantly wrestling with ever since moving to Japan is that moving countries or cities doesn’t equal happiness; No matter how big of a dream this has been for me, my life in Tokyo hasn’t been the happiest -even depressing at times.
This isn’t because something bad has happened or because I’m depressed (ok, maybe slightly), but probably because I have no more dream to chase after; I’m here to stay, but so what?
Even when we are chasing our dreams, the moment we catch them it’s so easy to forget what the chase was for. We need a next target, something big enough we can’t catch.
This makes me wonder what is true happiness?
I’m sorry my blog posts have been so deep and almost dark lately, but these are the challenges that I’m facing in my first months in Japan, and I’m probably not alone in this (I hope).
I’m sure it’s going to get better, but for now I need to find a new dream to chase after 🙂