I’ve been feeling a little down lately.
Nothing bad has happened and it’s not that I’m not enjoying my life in Tokyo; I’ve been just a little tired and sad for no apparent reason. I think it must have something to do with my 3-month mark here in Japan; where I’m finally settled into my life and routines and then I start questioning my reason for being here.
Why am I here? Is this really what I wanted?
I’m know I’m thinking too much. Although thinking alone doesn’t really take you anywhere- in most cases it will make things even more complicated, I think it’s part of us as humans to question ourselves and re-evaluate our goals once in a while. Like I mentioned in my previous blog post (which I wrote in a very dark mood) I think I need to find a new dream for myself, but also try and find small happiness in every day life.
So I happened to watch Anna Akana‘s video on “How to be happy now” and it really struck me; I realized that it’s not easy to be happy all the time, but if you practice it’s possible.
It’s your own decision if you want to be sad or happy (although hormones don’t make that easy) and staying at home by yourself thinking abut your life decisions won’t change that. So I’ve slowly started to challenge myself, both at work as well as in my personal life.
At work I’ve decided to put my everything to my tasks (no matter how easy or dull they might be), as well as start my own projects -even if the company won’t be interested in the results; at least I can brush up my business Japanese. Especially digital marketing is still so close to my heart that I’m not willing to let my knowledge and passion die away; even if it means I will have to work harder and outside of my actual work, I will put my time here to use.
As for my personal life, I’ve been trying to be more open to people; going to various events and meeting similar-minded people. And surprisingly, for an introvert at least, it has given me so much energy! A week ago I also made a trip to my beloved Kansai region and met up with my closest friends here. That weekend really reminded me of who I am and what makes me happy. It also gave me motivation to find a way to stay in Japan for the long-term.
I feel a lot more wholesome now that I’ve made it to December and found the Christmas spirit, but I am thankful for that month of thought. I think I really needed it (though it wasn’t fun).
Now I know what to look forward to next year!